I have an impenetrable brawl with focusing


School is the most challenging position to be put in for someone like me.

The work that is given to me at school is overwhelming. I can never sit down, relax, and pound it out for an hour. Slight distractions push me away from a motivated drive, and my priority is taken from my grasp.

My focus has always been a struggle for me. I seem to get distracted when it’s arduous work that I have to put my mind to. My brain doesn’t want to commit. It’s jumping between challenging work and something to take my mind off of it. There’s never just concentrating on that one thing that needs to be done. 

Getting priorities done before it’s due gets to be overwhelming. I’m sitting in my bed on my computer, finally focusing on work that needs to be submitted by tomorrow, then my phone rings. My group chats on my phone are blowing up. I need to answer. 

It’s one of the many things that I need to overcome, but if I work up to a point where I can put my mind to it and stay focused, I can do it”

By the time I answer this text message, I’m already unfocused, and I’m doing something opposite of the work. My forgetfulness kicks in, and the homework is lying on my open computer screen–missing. 

I have been struggling with being unfocused on something important. I’ll be told to grab something before I head out the door or remember to take my medicine before I leave, but instead, I’ll become distracted by an object that comes to my mind as more important. 

This morning, I thought to myself, “I need to get ready fast,” and soon forgot what was most important. 

I was ready for school but instantly diminished the thought of taking my medicine.

I’m distantly aware of my phone distracting me.  One noise and my eyes are drawn to the screen. I’m afraid of missing out on what people will be talking about—or not responding to the person talking to me. When I’m not by my phone when people are calling or texting me, the worry that fills me is terrible.

Any screen, any noise that flows through my brain, becomes the focus.

I distract myself with my own voice. When I’m focusing I tend to distract myself by talking to others as a way to get out of what I’m supposed to be doing. In class, when there are friends around me, it’s hard to focus because my mind is being taken away from what’s important. 

As it is, becoming distracted is one of my greatest struggles. It’s one of the many things that I need to overcome, but if I work up to a point where I can put my mind to it and stay focused, I can do it.