To my person


Madi Evans

Lotta and I during one of our unpredictable car rides

I’ve been trying to decipher how to create this narrative to explain an unthinkable scenario, yet have come to the conclusion there is simply no way to express such passionate and aching emotions. I’ve attempted to construct and configure the words I please to say it ends in a whirlpool of excessive sentences dragging on and on and piles of Kleenex pooling on my nightstand because in all honesty, I’ve been avoiding writing this for the past nine months. 

Nine months where every morning I’ve been greeted with a similar smile washing over my body, the slight smile exposing her pearly whites making me feel safe. A smile that for fifteen years I had never known, and now, quite literally cannot imagine going without. Everyone preaches how you have the power to selectively pick and choose who you surround yourself with, but I don’t believe in that–friendship is a driving force. 

A driving force that brought us together this past August, and from the second your thick, raspy German accent flooded into my eardrums, I could tell friends were out of the question. We were going to be best friends. The kind where everything was simplistic and easy, and that’s exactly what has become. 

Even in the eerie silence, we enjoy each other’s presence. I’ve never met someone who understands the way I think, how hard I feel, and the way I love with no conditions. Each second spent together is submerged in epic adventures I wouldn’t imagine partaking with anyone else.

We were going to be best friends

— Madi Evans

Going into detail about each and every minuscule experience is imaginable as well as indescribable. Yet, I cherish each one as I will never be able to describe the adrenaline surging through my body during the duration of each extensive car ride through Lowell accidentally running into one of our ‘boyfriends’, or the never-ending late-night slushie trips. 

All these adventures will cease in less than a month–30 days. It’s strange to comprehend how your best friend will be traveling over 4,000 miles away in nearly 720 hours and my favorite, most energetic part of the day will no longer exist. 

Everyone repetitively told me not to get attached, that it would crush each and every part of my heart. And it will, but surrounding myself with her never-ending love is the best mistake any human could ever make. I will be ruined, my bones shattered, every tear of my body drained out through my glassy, brown eyes, but each memory we have created amounts to so much more than any loss imagined. 

So, to my other half, my German soulmate, the one and only person who sincerely cannot fail at putting a genuine smile across my face, thank you. I’m already missing you, but so beyond thankful for all you have done for me. Thank you for making me a better person and always pronouncing words like “raccoon” and “uber” wrong. Thank you for being you, for being my best friend. And although your home is across the world, you will forever be mine.