Dear Converse, what is this?

This year’s Converse Valentine’s Day collection is a compilation of unoriginal shoes. When I initially looked at this drop, I liked it. But as I scrolled through the page, I found variations of practically the same design.

A majority of the shoes are black and white with gold eyelets. While this simplicity may be liked by some, if I’m buying Valentine’s Day shoes, I’m buying Valentine’s Day shoes. And by that, I mean bright pinks, reds, and purples. I want crazy, bright, heart-covered high tops. Neutral and basic shoes are available year-round so why would I buy them coined as shoes for the pinkest holiday?

So let’s take a deeper look into some of these designs because while they may not be what I want, they’re not total drops.

Chuck Taylor All Star Move Platform Hearts

I love pink shoes. This pair is the only true Valentine’s Day-themed pink shoe in this collection. All of the others are available year-round, other than a couple of pairs of kid’s shoes. I absolutely love the Converse Valentine’s patch in place of the standard design. But my complaint about it is that the logo includes gold, which means gold is tied in on other parts of the shoe. Silver would look better. The heart on the outside corner of the shoe would accompany the shoe much better with a silver center. I adore the shoelace charm, but again, silver, please. Had these shoes not had maroon on the heart or patch, the gold may match better. But all the colors just don’t flow together, or maybe I just hate maroon and gold combinations. The redeeming quality of these shoes is that the Move-style Converse is the most comfortable pair I own. My standard platform Converse make my feet hurt after a long day, while the Move platforms keep me comfortable.

Chuck 70 Hearts

There’s a reason these maroon shoes are sold out; they are beautiful. I take back my previous statement on maroon and gold because these shoes make it work. The gold heart on the tongue and along the back of the heel truly makes these worthy of Valentine’s Day. My one complaint is about the laces that come with these shoes. The pair of Converse I have with these laces get loose super easily. I am constantly retying my shoes as the laces slide toward the sides rather than staying where I tied them in the middle. But other than functional reasons, I love these.

Chuck Taylor All-Star Lift Platform Gold Chain

I wouldn’t classify these as Valentine’s Day shoes. Yes, they have a heart on the side. Yes, they have a heart on the sole. Other than that, they’re just white shoes with gold accents. Don’t get me wrong, they’re cute shoes, but they’re entirely neutral. And as for the chain on the heel: no comment. I can’t decide if it’s cute or if it seems like someone needed somewhere to put their bracelet since it was bothering them on their wrist. I’m sure I could sense someone wearing these shoes from a good distance away from the jingle that I assume sounds when they walk.

Run Star Hike Platform Embroidered Hearts

Now, these—these are cute. Plain and black, check! Additional Valentine’s Day decor, check! These shoes radiate the self-love aspect of the holiday, from the embroidered “♥️me” on the inside heel to the “me” in a heart on the outside ankle. Even the inside of the tongue says “from me to me.” Baby pink adorns the heel outsole with a cherry-red Converse star. Mini heart and kiss mark embroidery make up a heart on the ankle. Now, this specific style of Converse may be a little controversial. I, personally, was a hater. But after receiving a pair for Christmas, I can see why they’re a bestseller. The spiky sole makes me feel less likely to slip in the winter snow, and truthfully, makes they are no harder to style than more traditional styles.

Run Star Hike Platform Made With Love

Same style as the last, same basic black base. Since these are pretty similar to the last, I’ll keep it brief. The “made with ♥️” on two parts of the shoe amps up the Valentine’s-ness. But with the embroidered words alone, I would not consider these all that revolutionary. It’s the red outsole that does it for me. Whereas the last shoe had a colored heel outsole, the toe of this pair is the bright red of the star on the former. Additionally, the star keeps its color and placement on these shoes too.

While the 71 shoes in Converse’s “Valentine’s Day Collection” may seem like a good amount for a wide range of Valentine’s-ness in the shoes, none of them wowed me. I want my shoes to scream of the holiday from their toes to their heels. Do better, Converse.