I used to have everything handed to me.
Walking into the halls of Ada Elementary School, I was at the age of five and believed everything in the world was perfect.
Little Lily loved school so much that she wanted to be a teacher, but that could not be farther from the truth nowadays. She ran around like nothing mattered: I wish I could go back to those moments of carefree childhood.
My journey into the Central Woodlands building was seemingly perfect at that time. Even with the mistakes of teachers being all messed up, fifth grade ended up being amazing.
At the age of 10, I dreamed of even more things that would never happen. I danced around, that’s all I wanted to do, and now I’m lucky if I even have enough time to breathe. I wish I could tell her to appreciate all that she was able to do; I want to tell her to have fun with dance because she’ll never see it again.
At 12 years old, I moved to Central Middle School. Once again, I changed my thoughts about the future. I thought I was going to go to Michigan State University and do forensics, but I am horrible at science so that was not an option.
I wish I could tell her to not focus so much on how people think of her and that all she needed to do was be herself. If given the option, I would go back and do all the activities I thought I was too good for. Maybe I would like being at school if I actually did those things.
My final stop before college, Central High School. At 14, I finally understood what it meant to be a part of the world. I had to actually try now, everything I did in that moment counted to everything I do in the future.
I started to feel the pressure even at the start of freshman year. If only I could tell myself a few years ago that it didn’t matter that much. Although my future did depend on those actions, I didn’t get to experience everything presented to me.
If only I had done theater earlier, if only I had gone to more football games, if only I joined TCT earlier. If I only did the things I wanted to do without worrying about what it might do to my future me.
Even though it’s all coming to an end, and I wish I could’ve done more, I’m glad that I ended up doing what I did. Now that I move on to bigger and better things, I will always look back to the life I lived these past 17 years.
If only I could tell my younger self to fully live her life and not focus on the minuscule things. All of the things that I wish I did are left undone, and they forever will be.
