I am always tired


I am always tired.

I’m always moving, always driving, always doing something. I never take a break. Let me tell you, it’s exhausting.

Between practice every night and some weekends, homework reaching an all-time-high with the end of the school year on the horizon, and trying to make time to do something fun every once in awhile, I am almost never doing nothing. Even if I’m just running to Meijer to pick up a few things for my family, or sitting at home doing my homework, I am always doing something.

Ever since I got my license, my life has been an endless spiral of doing everything, all the time, always. My days begin at 6:40 a.m. every morning, and ends anywhere between midnight and 1:00 a.m. Simply put, it’s taxing.

I can’t remember a time where I would get eight hours of sleep every night. I can’t remember a time where I sat down and had dinner with my family every night. I can’t remember a time where I woke up in the morning feeling refreshed and energized.

I am tired.

I never stop moving – on the go, all the time. Sometimes, I think it’s exactly what I always wanted. Independence, freedom, and a life where I don’t have to be bored. On other days, I despise it. I just want a day off – one day off, just to sit and do absolutely nothing.

Realistically, I will never stop moving. There’s too much to do, too much to see, and I don’t want to spend my life locked in my room doing nothing. Some days I feel like I need a break, but I want to experience the world more.

I am tired, but I need to see the world.

So I will keep moving. Keep seeing, keep doing, and I will experience until I feel I have lived.