Store after store, three hours later and still no success—I still haven’t found a pair of jeans that fit me. 

Oftentimes, I get somber about not being able to walk in a store, grab a pair of jeans off the shelf, try them on, check-out, and leave like a good majority of my tall friends. 

This cracks my spirit and confidence, and I start to doubt not only myself but my body image as well.

When I was in third grade, I remember going shopping with my mom and always having to try on multiple pairs of jeans to find the perfect fit, and even when I did find the “perfect fit,” I always felt uncomfortable wearing them. It had nothing to do with the material or the style of the blue denim jeans; instead, it had everything to do with how I thought they looked on me and how restricted I felt while wearing those pieces of clothing. The way my legs are built only made the dilemma worse.

Even when I was younger, I always considered what I wore and how I looked because I knew I wasn’t like the other kids. I was much smaller than the rest of my classmates. I felt that wearing the outfits they wore would take away the attention from my height, but nobody but me seemed to care. 

At this ripe age, it went way beyond the pants fitting. I took notice of how my friends dressed in their grown-up styles while also observing how well their clothes fit them. Now and then, confusion popped into my head; how did they manage to find clothes that were so cute and more mature? It was always challenging to find grown-up styles in my size at the time, and it still is.   

Although it took me a while to accept the fact that I was going to have to face the problem of not finding pants that fit me perfectly right away—or any piece of clothing for that matter—at least I knew why. While doing gymnastics for fourteen years, I was undoubtedly gaining muscle daily. However, I had soon come to find that practicing four hours a day almost every day of the week took an unfavorable turn for my clothing options; the outfits I had once imagined myself wearing were no longer realistic for me.

Over time, my vision of wearing skinny jeans, mom jeans, and flare jeans that I saw on Pinterest, Instagram, and VSCO would not be happening partially because my body is not quite fit for some of these trends. The jeans are either too long that I need them altered or too big on the waist in a baggy manner.   

Some styles make me feel like I look like a box, but I am okay with that, and I am slowly learning to accept that not every trend is meant for me.

In the end, the reality is that I will be cuffing my pants for eternity.