I long for the feeling of freedom, the feeling of leaving everything behind me and just running.

Running.

I never run; it is not an activity that I have a penchant for, yet I have the constant desire to simply drop everything I’m doing and leave.

There are far too many things weighing me down, trapping me in a bubble. There are two knots: both the size of golf balls on either side of my neck. All of the weight I am holding on my shoulders constantly leaves me exhausted, yet I project myself with as much energy as I can muster up. I have had week-long headaches, but I continue to smile.

My life is not miserable. I truly am happier than I could ever be. But I feel constricted, claustrophobic. I need to break free from the chains that are holding me down, for their strength is preventing me from flourishing. 

I want—no, I need to run. I need to feel each individual blade of grass and grain of dirt between my toes. I need to feel the crisp March air smack me in the face; I need it to blow through my hair, scream in my ears, and flow through my clothes. I need every single quandary that I have encountered since I have entered this world to slide off of my shoulders. I need the knots in my neck to disappear. I need to feel free.

I need to run and never stop.

The sad truth to this fantasy is that I can’t leave. I cannot escape from this world; I can only dream. 

I find dreams fascinating. There are no restrictions on the human brain and all of the wonders it can do when at rest. The mind can conjure up alternate realities so people can run away from what is right in front of them. For now, my dreams are all I can count on to escape.

No chains are holding me down when I dream. I am not trapped in an unbreakable bubble. I have the freedom to go anywhere and do anything, with not a single worry about what’s ahead. I am able to feel each individual blade of grass and grain of dirt between my toes. I am able to feel the crisp March air smack me in the face, blow through my hair, scream in my ears, and flow through my clothes.

When I dream, every single problem in my life flows off of me like a river. The knots in my neck ease up. I feel ten times lighter–happier, even. That is the magic of dreaming. They are the perfect escape route from reality without truly leaving.

But then I wake up.