With Arizona came assurance, but not enough of it


Today, I spent an entire glorious March day on the University of Arizona’s beautiful colonial campus. Towering palm trees fluttered ever so slightly in the breeze, lining the paved paths connecting the historic brick buildings to one another. Above all, the sun shone down with supernatural strength, infusing everyone and everything in its path with a healthy dose of Vitamin D and spring in their step.

I gazed at this almost flawless campus in front of me and realized that, despite how perfect it appeared to be, it would be rendered futile without the thousands traversing its paths. Everywhere in sight were Arizona Wildcats walking with a purpose across Tucson’s realm. The hustle and bustle of a college campus became ever-apparent to me as college students on a mission cut in and out and weaved around each other on this sunny Arizona day.

With forty thousand students at the university, it amazed me as I looked around and saw everyone journeying across the campus with a strong, integral purpose. Each of these people had places to be. Each of these people had others and events waiting on them. Each of these people belonged.

You could’ve taken a movie-esque snapshot of me in this moment as I practically froze to observe my surroundings. Here I was, in the heart of this Wildcat campus, and all I could see were the dozens around me zooming by at the speed of light.

While I couldn’t say that I felt like an outsider, because the University of Arizona felt incredibly welcoming, it was a strange feeling to see all of these students racing off to where they belonged.

I began to imagine myself at this exact moment in a year and tried to picture myself feeling this exact sentiment of belonging.

I struggled to do so.

The biggest step forward in life thus far is only a few months away from me, and it’s strange to think that after what might feel like a few fleeting moments, I’ll be approaching college’s doors. It’s something seniors discuss over and over again, but spending parts of my spring break on this college campus opened my eyes to the proximity of this change.

The looming presence of this eventuality grows stronger every day, as more and more of my peers commit to universities around Michigan and beyond.

The looming presence of this eventuality grows stronger every day, as more and more of my peers commit to universities around Michigan and beyond. It’s heartwarming to see my classmates, my peers, my friends funnel their lives in the right respective directions, but at the same time, it reminds me of my outstanding quandaries. From Ann Arbor to Arizona and in between, I need to make up my mind.

It’s a scary thing, though, just how much weight this one decision holds. Each of the potential different paths brings with it strong distinctions in residences, finances, academics, and just life in general. It’s one decision, but it changes everything.

Above all, I just want to experience this true feeling of belonging for myself that I saw on that sunny March day. I’m exasperated with the anxious feeling of uncertainty that has taken a backseat in my mind since August. I know that this process will be coming to an end soon, but I wonder if I, or anyone for that matter, will ever have all the tools necessary to be 100% assured about this incredible decision.