At the mere age of nine, I thought I was a regular customer to the sweet nothingness that was the black-and-white idea of love; I thought I was in love. 

My naive idea of devotion was meeting outside on the playground, hugging in secret, and being a forever, guaranteed partner. But I was never his forever, guaranteed partner. The highs and lows of a novice relationship were something I thought was normal.

My first relationship wasn’t something that most people would consider as serious, but in my fourth-grade mind, it was the most serious thing I had ever lived through. I was nothing short of devastated—what I thought was devastation—when the thing I thought was love eventually came to an end.

At the age of sixteen, I’ve become a regular customer of the beautiful sweetness that is a vibrant, colorful sense of love; I am in love. My idea of devotion may be still naive, but to be blinded by an entity so sugar-coated is something I never knew I needed. 

Sweets tended to leave an artificial, metal taste in my mouth—only in the late of the night did I pray for the sweet things in life. The seas of sorrow were something I had traversed many times; all I wanted was the sweet things to push my sails like the forceful winds during a dark storm. 

Before this love, life could never give me enough sweet things. Self-assured kisses on the cheek, saccharine words of encouragement, and devoted thrill were out of reach but never out of mind. Now, whenever I’ve broken down and forgot who I am, I have someone to not only help me back up but also to sit there with me and give me the words of affirmation that I need to hear.

Life still can’t give me enough sweet things, but this time it’s different. My unquenchable thirst for the love and sanctuary created by my sophomore soulmate has been the best treat I could have ever asked for. While thankful for every relationship, whether platonic or romantic, this one holds the most unique, unconditional love I have ever felt or given. 

Regardless of how long our relationship lasts, a soulmate to me is someone who makes me better every day and loves me unconditionally. His sweet love is unconditional, and I could never express my gratitude. To have found my first romantic soulmate at such a young age has been something I don’t think I could ever take for granted.

To my first love—or what I thought was love—I hope you the best, and I can only wish that our elementary relationship has created a base for new beginnings.

You didn’t give me the sweetness that I have now, but regardless, you have created a base for me to love my sophomore soulmate more and more every day.

But to my love, to my sophomore soulmate, you have proved to me that I am someone worth loving or someone worth the possible heartache.

For life to have given me the sweet things so young, I am better because of it. 

I am better because of your sweetness.