Living vicariously through the photographs


I’ve always loved pictures.

They’re a moment in time, a frozen piece of life that can be preserved forever.

I spend my free time when there’s nothing else to do scrolling back through the years and watching as my curly hair returns and the circles under my eyes become lighter. I smile as I look at pictures from sleepovers, and I see which friends have stayed with me as I have grown up, along with the ones who have come and gone.

I have an app that compiles my photos from the year into a long video so that I can look back and revisit the moments I have frozen; I can relive the year over again within a mere couple of minutes. I live vicariously through the past, especially when the present and future don’t look promising.

I live vicariously through the past, especially when the present and future don’t look promising.

While I try to live off my camera, every bone in my body tells me to capture the moment and freeze it even if it is slightly memorable. I want to create memories that live in my mind, but I want to create memories that are tangible, too. I want to show everyone the pieces of the past that I have frozen with pride; I want them to look at my curly hair and the lack of dark circles and reminisce with me.

So, I display them. In an organized fashion in my bedroom, pieces of time I have frozen from the past three years are proudly displayed on the wall next to my bed. Though they depict just brief seconds of memories, they tell the stories of my past which I then pass on to those who inquire. I tell them about the memories in class with my closest friends. I tell them about the football games, the hikes, and the sleepovers. 

When I look at my bedroom wall, I am able to briefly escape from the harsh reality of the present and revisit my past. I look at the picture of myself wearing my Coke bottle costume for Halloween in the fifth grade, and I laugh. I look at the photos from the past two senior goodbye parties, and I miss them even more. I look at all the pictures with my closest friends, and I immerse myself in the antics we indulge in with one another.

I have always loved pictures.

They let me escape into a realm where nothing else matters, except for the past.