To my built-in best friend


A collection of photos of my older brother and me through the years.

If you had told me four years ago I would be writing this story, there is no way I would’ve believed you.

Growing up, I always wished I had a twin, or a sister, someone I could talk to and relate to. Little did I know, I did have that person, right across the hall. It just took me a long time to realize it.

I was always told my older brother, Chance, and I were attached at the hip when we were younger, despite the three-year age gap. I followed him around like a puppy, in awe of everything he did. I always took these stories with a grain of salt because they were the stories my mom would tell me when I was complaining about him or dramatically exclaimed that I thought he despised me.

I now believe these stories were sincere.

I’m not sure why our dynamic switched, but I can remember when. 

Dear Chance,

I got a video in my Snapchat memories the other day of you and me from three years ago; it was a clip of you barging into my room with a speaker, blaring a song I can’t remember.  

I was a freshman, you were a senior, and I truly believe you had finally deemed me mature enough to hang out with you. Though I would have never let you see, I was beyond excited that we were becoming friends.

Though I would have never let you see, I was beyond excited that we were becoming friends.

I would never blame you for thinking I was annoying when I was in middle school because I was, and we both know it. Though, through all of our fights and bickering, it never lasted long enough for me to despise you.

Our bond is one I never expected to develop over these past few years, but I can honestly say you’re my closest friend.

When I was younger and insisted that I get to sleep on the top bunk bed in your room—as my room was a substitute guest room—and I inevitably fell off the bed onto the floor, you rushed to grab me a banana because you hoped it would make me feel better. While this memory is comical to look back on, it is one of my favorites, because it displays our relationship perfectly, as you are the first person to help me up when I’m down, even after ten years.

In my 17 years of life, you have bestowed many nicknames upon me from Pay to Zoomie, and although a lot of these names have no specific meaning, it always made me happy to know I was cool enough to be given a nickname by you.  

You’re the first person to wish me a happy birthday or congratulate me on a minuscule accomplishment; if no one else is, I know you’re on my side.

Although we’re both never home because of work and school, I always know I have someone to talk to, someone who knows how to find the right joke that makes me feel better when I’m upset, and the best older brother I could ask for.

It pains me to know that in only a mere few months, we will both be leaving, moving on, and settling into a dorm room or apartment somewhere, and we won’t be across the hall from each other anymore. I can’t fathom only seeing you on holidays and birthdays, but I know you’re only a text or call away.

I now no longer wish I had a twin or a sister because I have you, and your presence in my life is better than any imaginary sister or twin I could ever ask for.


Your Best Friend