To the rain that heals me, thank you


Sofia Hargis-Acevedo

A picture of the rainy view outside of my study room in the library.

My chest has felt awfully tight lately.

I cannot pinpoint the exact reason as to why. It could be the weight of every class and exam and standardized test pressing onto me. It could be because of the extravagant projects I have found myself having to put together. Or, it could be because I am incredibly frustrated with my lack of timing skills. 

I’m not very hungry anymore, I have too much on my mind. My knuckles rarely ever crack because I try to crack them far too frequently. The skin on my fingers has been picked raw and the inside of my cheek is always being chewed.

I am writing this in the library. On the whiteboard behind the desk I am sitting at there is a list of tasks I need to complete that is far too long for the allotted three hours we are permitted. 

I told the rain that I loved it, that I was thankful for making it all hurt a little less for a little longer. 

Through the window that takes up the entire wall, I see the rain.

It’s not the angry rain that relentlessly hits the cars as they drive by, unknowing of the source of the rain’s fury.

It’s not the happy rain that naive children carelessly dance in until their hair is soaked and their clothes are stuck to their skin.

It’s not the sad rain that reminds people of their losses to too many battles, the rain that leaves people to grieve.

It is the rain that heals.

I didn’t run straight to the doors of the library. I walked and let the cool raindrops hit my face and linger in my hair.

I let the rain lift the weight of the classes, tests, and standardized tests off of my chest. I let the rain wash away the numerous projects I need to complete in the near future. I let the rain make me forget about my terrible timing skills that I never seem to get right. 

I let the rain allow me to heal.

The refreshing raindrops seeped into my skin. It gave me goosebumps, but not enough to make me shiver. I wanted to stay outside; I wanted to let the rain drench me. I wanted to scream and cry and let go of every single burden that makes it hard for me to breathe. 

I did as much as I could in the little time I spent outside. I told the rain that I loved it, that I was thankful for it making it all hurt a little less for a little longer. 

I did not get the time that I needed in the rain. Instead, I spent the rest of the day looking out the window, waiting for the rain to heal me once again.