I was made for something


Everyone is made for something.

Over all of their years, they are made to do something with their lives to make the world a better place.

I don’t know for sure what I was made for, but I do know what I wasn’t made for.

I wasn’t made for speaking.

I have never been comfortable talking in front of people. Even if I have known them for my whole life, I have dreaded having to talk in front of them.

I am okay asking questions, but when everyone’s eyes are on me and their attention is all in my direction, I become a turtle and want to shrink into my shell.

Butterflies are tumbling around in my stomach practicing their gymnastics.

My cheeks are in an oven set to 450 degrees, and they look like Rudolph’s nose.

My voice wavers and sounds like it is light years away; I always get that note.

My brain decides everyone thinks I am stupid and they are judging me.

But I shouldn’t really be that nervous, they all have to do the same thing. But I guess I am not as brave when it comes to speaking.

I can dance in front of an audience and only have slight butterflies. But dancing is second nature.

I can write and post stories about my life online. But I enjoy writing.

Butterflies are tumbling around in my stomach practicing their gymnastics.”

Adding on to my wavering voice, my intonation is naturally quiet. Many times when I am talking, I have to repeat myself due to the fact that people couldn’t hear me.

Maybe it is because I don’t necessarily like to share my ideas. Maybe it is because I have the craziest ideas that people would stop thinking I was being serious. Maybe it is because I think my ideas are so brilliantly crazy I don’t want to share them. I don’t know.

Maybe that is why I love to dance so much. It allows me to be myself and express myself without having to use my voice at all.

Maybe it is because I enjoy listening to other people and their ideas and learning about their lives. I get distracted and forget to fill people in on my own life.

Maybe it is because I talk to myself inside of my head so much that I feel like I would constantly be repeating myself.

I don’t know.

I do know one thing though: I wasn’t made for speaking.