Every year for Christmas, the Kardashian-Jenner family wraps their presents with designated paper, has their iconic cards sent out, and has multiple trees around their homes. Aside from the entire month of December being posted on the family’s Instagrams, the holiday season isn’t the only one that this socialite family goes over the top for.

Psalm West, Kim Kardashian’s son, had a Hulk-themed party for his third birthday at the beginning of May 2022. This celebration had a hallway lined with green balloons, a life-size statue, a large cake, and more.

Kylie Jenner, Kris Jenner’s last child, spent her 2022 Mother’s Day surrounded by white flowers and balloons, as well as candles, and her sweet family of four which was all gifted to her by baby-daddy: Travis Scott.

Kendall Jenner, Kris and Bruce Jenner’s first child together, celebrated her twenty-sixth birthday with what she claims to be a “small,” yet expensive dinner, in which she invited twenty-six of her closest friends. 

Khloe Kardashian, the youngest Kardashian daughter, posted about the family’s Easter celebration where her own daughter, True Thompson, was taking part in the private egg hunt. 

With each of their party planners arguably being some of the best in their field, every Kardashian-Jenner family extravaganza is to die for. However, each wedding seems to be a major fail in some way or another; why can’t the Kardashians get this right?

While facing a lot of backlash for the Kardashian marriages never lasting, the long line of exes includes—and is not limited to—Robert Kardashian, Bruce Jenner, Kanye West, Kris Humphries, Damon Thomas, and Lamar Odom. With Kourtney Kardashian just getting married this past month, most people would likely say this marriage is bound to fail as well.

Kourtney is the eldest daughter of the Kardashian-Jenner clan and just had her wedding where she said “I do,” for the first legal time, with Travis Barker. With more age under her belt, I honestly think this will be a positive factor for their hopefully long-lasting relationship, unlike her younger sisters. But something that doesn’t give me much hope for the newlyweds is their entire ceremony seemed like just another ugly Kardashian wedding.

Both of Kourtney’s immediate sisters’ weddings were painfully basic and screamed early 2000s prom, unlike any other party from the family which is usually a success. 

For her wedding this past weekend, Kourtney was wearing a Dolce & Gabbana wedding dress, or for lack of better words, Dolce & Gabbana lingerie. Underneath her long veil, guests could see her mini dress with an off-white colored corset on top which was the length of the slip dress itself—she looked like she was the main attraction of a fake casino wedding, ironic considering their “practice wedding” was in Las Vegas.

I was extremely disappointed in the way that Kourtney dressed skimpy and unprofessional, but her family wasn’t much better. For the guests, the only dress code I could pick up on was “unprepared.” The mother of the bride was wearing a pink schall with what looked like flamingo feathers and cheap sequins all over; Kourtney’s immediate siblings wore all black, floor-length dresses with elements of funeral lace. Her half-sisters were wearing leather dresses decorated with poorly painted flowers—in simple terms, the outfits during the wedding were awful.

Once again, even at the welcome dinner, Kourtney was wearing lingerie, Kim was in head-to-toe monotone gray, Kylie had the ugly black straps of her dress showing, Khloe outdressed everyone, and Kris missed the memo altogether. Kourtney’s wedding weekend was not a celebration of love, it was a fashion show for Dolce & Gabbana’s summer clearance sale.

Along with the attire, the venue itself didn’t make much sense. The Kardashians are a mix of Armenian from their dad’s side and Western European—English, German, and Scottish—from their mom. From an outsider’s perspective, Kourtney and Kim are somewhat in touch with their Armenian roots, but maybe Kourtney wanted to honor Travis Barker’s Italian heritage first. While Italy is beautiful in the summertime, it would have been even better to see something more diverse from the two.

Another unexpected element of Kourtney’s wedding was the fact that the Kardashian and Jenner children all attended. I understand that the family itself is extremely tight-knit, but considering the marriage was late, I would also assume the ceremony itself would be incredibly mature. All of the children in their widespread family are on the younger side having the oldest, Mason Disick—Kourtney’s son—only being twelve years old.

Kourtney and Travis have been missing the mark on every fashion-related event they’ve attended this year, and I don’t know why I had such high expectations. I truly believe that the wedding aesthetic is extremely hard to mess up, so how did Kourtney do it so easily? Maybe a trashy ceremony was meant to act as a modest attempt at being nonchalant. This wedding was a complete fail on every front, and I can only hope, for the family’s sake, that the next couple will be better.