I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a victim of finding myself in the black hole that is reality television.
From the shallow viewpoints of Keeping Up with the Kardashians—and although I hate to admit it—to the unwatchable garbage that was the Hype House, much had somehow found its way onto my screen at one point in time.
And at the top of my watchlist, Dance Moms.
The show, which ran from 2011 to 2019, followed a competitive youth dance team in Pittsburgh, their demanding coach, and—a staple for any reality television show— the unhinged drama that took place, specifically from the mothers of these dancers. The show was notorious for the heated rivalries between both the dancers and their mothers. One dancer in particular, Mackenzie “Kenzie” Ziegler, was quickly portrayed as a ditsy, immature younger sister who was often spoken for. It seemed like episode after episode, viewers would have to watch Kenzie prove herself again and again, waiting for an instance where her voice would finally be heard. With most of her childhood in front of the camera, the documentation of both Kenzie’s life and her family’s was inevitable; the Zieglers, however, were cautious to keep one important detail under wraps.
Months before the show first aired on Lifetime Network, Kenzie’s biological parents had gone through a messy divorce that ultimately caused her father to walk out of her life. As her interaction with him withered into just monthly phone calls, she was lucky if her father would attend a few dance competitions yearly. Throughout the running time of the show, the Zieglers, specifically Kenzie, understandably kept this under wraps. It wasn’t until this year that Kenzie began to speak up about the wounds she sustained from enduring so much at such a young age. Unaware that the former reality TV star even had a music career, I was quickly curious when the music video for her latest single, “Anatomy,” popped up on my YouTube recommendations.
From the first chorus, I immediately knew I wouldn’t regret listening to it.
The song explores Kenzie’s rocky relationship with her father and the emotional damage she endured from him being absent for the majority of her life. “It’s just anatomy / you’re only half of me / still you don’t know me at all,” Ziegler sings. The song lasers in on the crushing weight of experiencing someone so close to you see you as irrelevant, noting how the suppression of her true feelings about her father’s distance from her still lingered. “No closure / just getting older,” is a lyric from the song that I feel encapsulates the consequences of turning a blind eye to turmoil so heavy. In this case, the trauma stemmed from Kenzie’s former inability prior to the release of this single to address just how unconnected from her father she truly felt.
For Ziegler, writing this song was her way of finally being able to express what her childhood self was never able to admit out loud. “I definitely am stepping out of my comfort zone and being authentic in a different way that’s not just on social media — I’m telling my story,” the 19-year-old admitted in an interview with People Magazine. “[The song is] mainly about me healing my inner child,” she noted.
Not only does “Anatomy” bring out comfortable vulnerability in the artist herself, but it also provides a space for those experiencing similar experiences where they can be seen. “I also think that it could really help some people that are exactly like me to relate to this and not feel alone.” Ziegler proposed. In addition to resonating with many who have experienced similar family experiences to Kenzie, the versatile lyricism extends to many others who feel neglected or forgotten by someone important in their lives. One lyric that I feel captures this feeling best is, “You’ve been my missing piece / so why aren’t you missing me? / guess I meant less than I thought.” The devastation of realizing that your adoration for someone isn’t reciprocated is perfectly displayed in this piece, diving into the humiliation and despair that comes with having your significance in someone’s life dwindle away.
To accompany the bittersweet writing that Ziegler poured her heart into comes a choreography video in which she taps back into her love for dance to express the baggage her childhood was engrained with. The video, which was co-choreographed with Kenzie’s older sister and former fellow dance teammate, Maddie Ziegler, features both the artist and a “mini-version” of her (a younger featured dancer who appeared alongside Kenzie, most likely paying homage to her past self). Her emotions are perfectly displayed with every twist and turn and her creative talent shines through with every motion. Having her older sister on set with her also contributed to the raw sentiment Kenzie was able to bring to her work. “We grew up the same, so it kind of was a moment for us to share together, and it was super emotional,” she commented. “The song was so personal to me that it just felt like home while she was on set and just being a part of it as well.”
After a symphony of authenticity from the artist, the song ends with the line, “It’s just anatomy/hate that you’re half of me.” This, I feel, ties the song together perfectly and sums up the effect of being a stranger to those who are supposed to be your lifeline. It accentuates how Kenzie had finally learned that her situation was not something she should be ashamed of or feel guilty about, letting go of the little girl who saw herself as invaluable or inessential and embracing a new confidence in who she is and all that she is. The artist’s transparency brings a whole new light to her music that had yet to be expressed in her previous work, provoking a new audience of people who feel just the same as Kenzie and are finally ready to heal.
It is safe to say that this new era of Kenzie’s music has me highly anticipating all that is to come from her in the future.
