I haven’t always felt like I belonged. And truthfully, nobody has. Recently, I’ve been starting to feel a little more of a sense of belonging.
A little over a year ago my family had to switch churches. I did not want to switch. I had been going to my old church for my whole life, and I just didn’t want to switch. I had no idea that it was going to change my entire life.
When we first went to our new church I didn’t know anybody other than my aunt, uncle, and cousins. I didn’t feel like I belonged there. Sure, people talked to me there, but none of them were my age, so I didn’t feel like I had anybody other than my sisters.
Over the next few weeks, I still didn’t really have much belonging. I went to the class with the other kids my age, but it was only boys there, so I wasn’t getting to know them. I just wanted to feel like I belonged.
After a few weeks of going to the class, another girl finally showed up, who I soon found out was named Brynn. I had no idea that she would turn out to be my best friend. We didn’t talk too much over the first few weeks she was there until I saw her playing a Gamepigeon game on her phone. After class, I walked over to her and just said, “Hey! Can I have your number? We should play paintball!” So we played paintball. That was a good decision because that is what made us become friends.
For quite a while she was my only friend at the church. I talked to a few of the other kids, but I never really was friends with them, at least up until our retreat.
In the fall of this year, my parents made my sister and I go to the church retreat, because then maybe we would start to feel like we belonged. We didn’t want to go, but we had to. I’m really glad we did. I made so many friends and memories that I’ll never forget.
The first few hours, my sister and I stuck with people that we were the most comfortable with. After dinner, we all went outside and played 9-square. I had never played 9-square before, so I was incredibly confused until my friend Brynn said that we should be partners. We absolutely sucked. We could barely make it past a few rounds before we got out, but I enjoyed it.
After playing a few different games, we headed inside and all sat in a big circle to play the game “Mafia.” We all loaded up on couches and chairs, with a few people on the floor. We played a few rounds of “Mafia,” and then we decided that we wanted to go look at the stars. That was my favorite part of the entire retreat.
That was when I started to feel like I belonged.
We all went outside and walked for a couple of minutes to this incredibly sketchy platform that looked out onto the lake. It was small and definitely old, but we all got up onto the platform in the pitch black, all squished together because there were so many of us. When we all turned off our flashlights, it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The sky was full of stars, and we were all pointing out different stars and constellations. That was when I started to feel like I belonged.
For the first year of being at my church, I didn’t feel like I belonged. Now, it feels like we’ve all known each other forever even though I’ve only really known them for a few months. I didn’t want to leave my old church, and I didn’t think that I would make any friends. I’m so glad we left our old church because now I found a best friend and so many other friends. I’ve made so many memories that I’ll never forget.
I truly am starting to feel like I finally belong.
