I want to stand in the stillness without slipping away


Mia Martin

My friend and I dancing our problems away

I have typed word after word and yet managed to press the delete button more times than the spacebar. This is not my first time running out of ideas, nor will it be my last, but when you have written over fifty stories, the rocks that have and haven’t been turned over blur into one big graveyard of ideas that never reached the light of day. 

I could scrape to the bottom of my thoughts grasping for new stories, new captivating ideas, and endless tall tales in order to please the few people who happen to stumble upon my staff profile, but alas, with four weeks left of school, my motivation to dig seems to be dwindling.

This sounds like a bad thing, and in many ways, it could be perceived that way, but to someone such as myself who has set standards so high that not even my idols could reach them, it is not. To say the least, the little voice in my brain that tells me to be perfect has earned a well deserved break. 

I am trained to believe that anytime I give that voice a day off, everything I have worked for will slip into oblivion along with my chances for a future, but here’s the thing: that is a lie—my future will be fine. I will maintain my appearances, I will keep a steady hand on my grades, and no part of me plans on slipping away. 

Instead, I hope for once in my life to live these last four weeks in peace. I want them to play like a movie across my glossy eyes, and I want to sit back with a bowl of popcorn and watch as my life gets easier. 

The little voice in my brain that tells me to be perfect has earned a well deserved break. ”

You may be wondering how a perfectionist, stress case, and an overachiever that cares way too much about what people think of her will achieve this. Truth be told, I don’t know. 

However, I assume it’s similar to anything else in life. You take it one day at a time. I will make my to-do list and finish it efficiently, and maybe, along the way, I will have some fun. 

And maybe, while I am learning the lesson to be more content with my beautiful accomplishments, the people around me will learn that just because someone lets perfection not be their average standard anymore, doesn’t mean they’re going to slip. Sometimes, it’s possible to just stand still.