The alternate universe of sports


The crowd goes wild.

Obviously it isn’t live, but sports are still being streamed.

I usually don’t like sports, but now, in this alternate universe, I am enjoying them.

That is most likely due to the types of sports being shown.

IDEAL Electricians National Championship. The 51st National Stone Skipping Competition. World Sign Spinning Championship. Hamburger and brat eating championships.

None of these are live, but they are all very entertaining.

The World Sign Spinning Championship 2019 had people doing gymnastics while spinning their sign — throwing them high into the air and catching them. I was very impressed with all of the competitors and think it should be a high school sport.

I also loved their positivity. When they announced the winner, they were all so happy for him; they picked him up on their shoulders and were cheering like they had won. The crowd and the competitors were showing their love and support — such an inspiring thing to show at a time like this.

The hamburger eating competition from 2006 was another alien sport to me. I had heard of hot dog eating competitions, but never their fatter, drier cousins.

ESPN is giving us a good distraction from the crazy happenings of the world. ”

There were people stretching far and wide, ready to see who would be the winners and if any new record would be broken. There were signs and boomsticks everywhere, allowing the competitors to know who their fans are.

They started the show with the amateurs. They were in pairs of two and only had to get through ten hamburgers. They had two minutes. I was surprised by the losing team falling behind. Then I realized, how fast could I eat a hamburger? I would be even worse than these people.

When the two minutes ended, two teams had finished. And this was only the amateurs.

The elite group is solo eaters. They have eight minutes to consume as many hamburgers as possible.

As the bell started the eight minutes, all of the competitors started engulfing the hamburgers. It was as if they didn’t chew any food. They stuck it in their mouth and it was gone.

This was one of those things where it was incredibly disgusting, but I couldn’t take my eyes away. At the end of the time, they were struggling, but the impressive winners ate more than ninety hamburgers.

Later, there will be hot dog eating, then tram racing, stupid robot fighting, and many more unique sports. All usually on ESPN 8, The Ocho. Many unique sports are finally getting the attention they deserve. And ESPN is giving us a good distraction from the crazy happenings of the world.

As the day continues, I might, for the first time, be interested in the sports that are being shown on ESPN.