I feel like pain is one of the most open-ended and easily disputed subjects. Everyone deals with it in different ways, and everyone experiences it individually. But I don’t think we talk enough about how we should really be viewing the unavoidable truth: pain is something we all go through, but not all of us handle it in healthy ways.

I don’t want to make this another journalist’s opinion on how pain is something we all go through and you carry on your way without this being any help. I want you to be able to read this and take something away from it. Because yes, pain is something that everyone goes through, but I think they have the wrong viewpoint about it.

I’ve experienced pain. Not losing relatives or breaking bones– although I’ve experienced both of those too. This year has been the most pain-filled year I’ve ever had. I went from being a happy, go-getter person to one who would rather stay inside and lay in bed. I had physical pain that became emotional torment. It became a part of my everyday life. The life I had once known was now completely shredded. It was like my life was simply put in a blender and left there to be ripped into pieces. I went months on end with no answers and with doctor visit after doctor visit. I went from wanting this condition taken away to simply wanting answers. I wanted to be better. That’s all. Just better.

It took me nearly an entire year to realize that “better” is not something so easily recognized. I realized that “better” comes in all shapes and forms. “Better” is not always something we want, but something we need. In the end, all I wanted was answers, and I got them. Answers were my “better.” I will never be rid of this condition; it has built a home here, now. But I know what’s wrong and how to deal with it. That was my better, and that is what I needed.

Someone asked me the other day if I could change this, would I? And I realized, no, I wouldn’t. Not because I enjoy aching, but rather because the aching made me who I am. I am stronger because of the pain I have felt, and I am wiser because of it too. I can relate to people and encourage them because I know what it’s like. I know what it’s like to be in pain, to be hurting every day. I know what it’s like to feel hopeless– like this will never end. But believe me when I say, it will get better. It may not be the better you want, but it will be the better you need.

The important thing to remember in all of your pain and strife is not that there is an end coming, because there very possibly isn’t. But rather what we should remember is that life is not about just getting through this school year– this hard time, this pain. You could deal with that for the rest of your life. You could wake up one day and realize you spent it all just wishing the pain away to find out that it never truly did disappear. Pain is a part of life. We can’t just “get through it” because pain is not something we get through. We deal with it. Pain becomes a part of our life, but not in its same form. Pain will not always hold its same sting and the same bitterness. It becomes easier to deal and cope with. Our experiences are pain, and this is how we combat it. We are what we went through, but most importantly, how we deal with it.

So when you think of pain, don’t think of a never-ending cycle. Think of how this will only make you stronger. If we live our lives just trying to get through pain, we will realize we never made it anywhere. Life is about finding the things that make life worth living instead of focusing on the small things that seem to drag us down. Life is already beautiful, and I think it’s about time we start living like it is.