My education has become a lost cause


My lips sting from the peeling skin that’s been torn away from itself.

I can’t decide on a playlist to choose—I’ll end up skipping half of the songs eventually.

My mascara comes off onto the side of my hand whenever I rub my eyes.

The ring on my middle finger is too big for me—it keeps slipping off when I’m typing.

I worry about the little things that I have to finish before the clock strikes 7:45 tomorrow morning.

Education isn’t only the grades we receive, the tests we take, or the classes we enroll in. ”

I already feel lost in the hallways of confusion and a longing for something new. Everything is the same as it’s always been—nothing ever changes.

I’m stuck sitting in front of my computer listening to my teachers try to get my attention. I’ve never had so little desire to learn in my life—online school is ruining my education.

Education isn’t only the grades we receive, the tests we take, or the classes we enroll in; it’s also about the interactions we have with our peers, getting out of bed and being productive, and preparing ourselves for our adult lives.

My education has been taken away from me. My education was crumpled into a paper ball and thrown at my face. My education has been slaughtered right in front of my eyes. 

Although students have been immersed in online learning for months now, coming back from break should feel like a punch in the face—it should feel like someone is jolting you awake from a dream. Winter break did not feel like a dream.

Winter break felt like every day students have experienced: sitting at home, staring at our screens, looking forward to an inevitable tomorrow until it comes. When we went back to school, it felt exactly like every other day.

My education has become a bean bag for me to sit in minimal structure and support. My education used to be a sturdy, wooden chair that I could rely on never breaking.

Without that chair, I’m left missing my friends on a daily basis, missing the ability to feel confident talking in front of my peers, and missing out on all of the highlights of my sophomore year.

Now I have a computer to stare at, blank screens to talk to, and online courses I never signed up for.

I signed up for in-person education, but with COVID-19 and the spread, my education is everything but that.