I watched the ice melt to water, now I can finally breathe


Sydney Race

Basic sunset picture I took of my friend and I the first day in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

We did it. I did it. It’s over for now, at least. 

“The Grudge” has faded. It’s venomous bite left a mark too big to fully recover from and the sting has subdued. Previously, I wrote about how the time was just running along, leaving none for the mountainous piles of homework and emotions. 

It still seems like Christmas was just last month—that for sure hasn’t changed. I remember the last day of my first semester of freshman year; I was struggling to take tests on Zoom. That day went painfully slow and my mind was thinking about everything but tests. I was planning Christmas gifts for my family—I always do it last-minute—making hot chocolate in the new Keurig after the old one didn’t last a day, having two weeks to rest, rethinking my life decisions—per usual—and rewiring my brain to have new motive going in to the new semester. 

That first week back was when I lost all motivation to continue my motive. Like a wilted rose, the pigmentation in my colors were not as vibrant as they once were. With my neck hanging low, I watched my dull petals flitter on to the ground—one by one, day after day, problem after problem.     

I finally picked myself up. No longer was I a wilted rose. After a long few months of not being able to get myself together, a breather helped me relieve my stress. Spring break 2021 was spent in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina with my friend.

The day we arrived at our hotel, the gorgeous sunset welcomed us to Myrtle Beach. Hues of orange and gold projected onto our pasty-white walls and flamed our eyes. Palm trees against the animated sky were all that was visible from our room.

Hues of orange and gold projected onto our pasty-white walls and flamed our eyes.”

Spring break means I can decompress. It means I don’t have to worry about due dates or test scores. It means I can relax. I can refocus. I can relieve the weight that I feel. It’s the only grace period between exams and dreaded winter. I have done exactly that on my break. I felt free. I felt human. I felt accomplished. 

For everyone except the senior class, we only have 34 wake ups until the last day. We will set wake-up alarms 34 more times until August. We will roll out of bed exhausted and overworked 34 more times. We are almost there–I am almost there. 

“Fourth quarter will go by so fast,” my teachers say to me. They’re telling–reassuring–us that the glass is half-full and the candle’s flame is still burning adamantly. Naturally, I think they’re saying that just to get our hopes up, but it doesn’t matter. Whatever they’re trying to achieve has been achieved, at least for me it has been. 

“Now the long haul until the end of the year.” That same sentence was on last week’s hyperdoc for English, and it’s on it again this week. 

“Now the long haul until the end of the year.” 

Only 34 more wake-ups. We’ve got this. It’s now the long haul until the end of the year.