A letter to myself: where my future takes me


Dear Lejla,

Every day, I think about my future. I think about where I will be one day. I always question where I’m going in life. That’s where I begin falling down a deep hole full of messy thoughts, just scrambling to find the answers. Deep down, I know things will be okay and it will turn out fine, but the future is a frightening thought. The future sometimes makes me feel lost. It is almost as though I don’t know myself.

In the past, I have lost connection to my own world for a while, and I didn’t know myself. I was just living, and I didn’t know a sense of reality, my own reality. I was living in an illusion in my world, and I had not cared for anyone but myself.

As I grew older, I thankfully realized my mistakes and tried to put back the pieces. I spent a year in hiding, grieving the loss of myself and wondering where my next mistake was going to be. I challenged myself to become a better person for the people I loved but, most importantly, for myself. I knew that if I wasn’t making mistakes, I wasn’t growing. So I got over the fear of failure and being wrong.

I’ve learned too much about making mistakes to hide them anymore, especially that making them is essential. If I could give any advice to anyone wanting to make a change in their life, it would be that you should make mistakes and that you should not be afraid to do so.

I no longer have to worry about hiding and looking for myself, but I still wonder: will it be like that in ten years? In ten years, I hope I will be a whole new person and will continue moving forward, choosing to become better with each day and passing year.

Nothing is promised, and I am the only one who can change my path. I hope to set goals. I hope to become more positive. I hope to help the community more, especially the ones who need it. Where my future takes me is unknown, and things will not come easily, but all I need is time.

Whether it be a week from now, five years, or even ten, I’ll never stop setting goals and fighting to get them completed. My advice for my future self? It is to remember at times to put yourself first and to fearlessly exist.